Know my Heart

I cleaned my office earlier this week. I find the process to be therapeutic. I find the need to clean my office annoying. I also find that items found reflect me.

A power cord for an old camera that broke years ago, showing I am truly a pack rat.

Cardboard boxes from equipment 6 months old just in case I want to return them, showing I do have commitment issues.

6 dirty coffee mugs, showing that I have not really evolved in dirty dish management since college.

Countless paper notes from meetings; some that are super old, showing that I still do not entirely trust tablets and email.

The order of worship from a mentors funeral that I am not ready to let go of. When I look at it, I am reminded of his joy and wisdom, showing that I’m not ready to say goodbye.

A nerf gun, showing that I am still a kid at heart, and it’s loaded just in case Student Ministry launches a surprise attack.

6 books that I have started reading but not finished, showing I need to work on follow through.

Multiple pages of doodles, showing when I get bored, I doodle and I do not have a future as an artist.

Over 100 binder clips, showing my small office supply addiction.

Numerous notes of encouragement that I stash in my office desk, they remind me of why I do ministry and that we are making a difference.

Cleaning my office was a task that took a few hours. It provides comfort, a clean(er) working environment, the ability to find needed items quickly and easily, less dust and mold (still embarrassed about those coffee mugs) but it was also a mirror that I can hold up to myself. Psalms 139: 23 says: Search me, o God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts. It amazes me that the Lord can know my heart, head, and soul better than I can. And that a simple action like cleaning the room that I am awake in more than any other, can still surprise me and show me things the Lord already knows.